There is Enough Room in Our Hearts. For All of It.
When I learned that I was pregnant with my rainbow* baby, I immediately envisioned all the things I would teach her. As it turns out, my little rainbow is the one who continues to teach me…
The other day I was feeling pretty down. Everything in the news had been weighing heavily on my heart. In an effort to shift my mood I sat down on the couch with a cup of tea and watched my daughter as she played.
Now let me explain something, my daughter, in her three years of life so far, has not been into stereotypical girly things. At all. She much prefers trucks over dolls, dinosaurs over any princesses, and roaring like a lion over tea parties. Over the last year, she has been very vocal about her preferences and we have of course supported her interests. Anyhow this day as I watched her play she started asking questions about ‘Beauty and the Beast’, since she saw the preview for the movie at the theater last week. I gave her a brief description of the story and when I was done, to my surprise, she stated that she would like to see that movie. She then asked if it was a princess movie? To which I replied “yes”. Then my daughter got a very serious look on her face and said “I think I have to take out the animals and trucks from my heart to make room for ‘The Beauty and the Beast’”. After a few minutes of contemplation, she then says, “mom, I think there is room in my heart for all of it”. She lifts up her shirt looks at her chest and says, “Oh yes, there is room for it all!”
I was struck by the profoundness of that statement: “There is room in my heart for all of it”. All of us, including young children, learn to become attached to what we hold close. We get so attached that we believe there is no room for anything else. But in fact, my daughter is right. Our hearts are big (and flexible) enough to hold it all. The grief and the joy. The darkness and the light. The love for our angel babies and our living children. Our hearts can hold the duality of life; all of it. This lesson couldn’t have come at a more important time. With everything happening in the world it is so imperative to remind ourselves: We have enough room in our hearts for it all. We can hold our beliefs close and still have room to hold others’ in our heart too.
At only three years old my daughter is teaching me so much. And my heart is big enough to receive it all.
*Rainbow Baby is a baby born after previous pregnancy or infant loss (a rainbow after the storm)
Aditi Loveridge has personally experienced the pain and the loneliness that comes after pregnancy loss. Over the course of her journey, she began to see that her losses had impacted her in ways that she had never imagined, and she was undeniably changed. This led her to become a Doula and a life coach.
Aditi specializes in supporting women and families who have experienced previous pregnancy and/or infant loss. Her coaching sessions are designed to support you through every step of your journey from initial loss coaching, conception coaching, through to pregnancy and postpartum support.
Image is by Lauren Brooke Sanchez. She is an artist located in Calgary – find more of her work here.